Fantasy Draft: Mario Football

Mario has conquered most sports. Go-karting, baseball, soccer, tennis, golf, the Olympics, ghost hunting etc. One unexplored frontier seems to be football, so we decided to tackle the market deficiency and draft our own football teams using only Super Mario characters. The guidelines were that you have to draft a quarterback, running back, wide receiver, tight end, defensive back and a kicker. The rest of the lineup is filled out with the generic green turtles.

I don’t know if this game is in development by Nintendo or anything–probably not because nobody cares about football in Japan– but Super Mario Football needs to be made. A game that is 1 part Madden and 1 part Mario Super Strikers feels like it’d be an instant hit.

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The Premier League is Back!

Summer is coming to an end, and that only means one thing to soccer fans: the return of Premier League action. Now, as a Newcastle fan it’s been a long year without seeing my team in the top tier, but along with the new season comes a new feeling of excitement (although it’s likely to be short-lived). With some familiar faces in new places, let’s take a look at what to expect this season before kick off with Arsenal taking on Leicester Friday afternoon. Read more

Throwback Thursdays: August 10, 1997 Greg Maddux gets paid

On August 10, 1997, Atlanta Braves pitcher Greg Maddux signs an MLB-record 5 year $57.7mil contract.

Four Cy Youngs, 18 Gold Gloves, four-time MLB ERA leader, a lifetime WAR of 116.7 (via FanGraphs) stretched across 23 seasons and a first ballot Hall-of-Famer in 2014 to boot. Maddux is in the conversation as one of the game’s great pitchers and was definitely one of the most dominant (and consistent) pitchers of his era. He led all starting in pitchers in WAR in the 90’s (1990 to 1999 seasons) with 69.8 wins above replacement, finishing ahead of Hall of Fame caliber talents like Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson, John Smoltz and Tom Glavine.

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The Leftovers: Dodgeball’s Greatest Redemption Story

One of my favourite goofy sports movies growing up was Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller’s Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. A battle between David and Goliath, fast-paced dodgeball action and an old-man drinking his own urine because it’s sterile and he likes the taste. It had everything.

The recent Colin Kaepernik saga  has got me thinking about all of the other discarded free agents in pro sports today and wondering where in the world they could fit in. Then it dawned on me. Like Vince Vaughn, I could round up the boys to hopefully build one of the most dominant dodgeball teams the world has ever seen. I imagine hitting the road and touring America leaving dodgeball-welted victims in our wake. It’d be like the ’92 Dream Team through Spain except probably a lot grittier and way more underwhelming. Without further ado, here is the list of athletes that I’m targeting with my own personal pitch as owner, GM and captain of “The Leftovers: Dodgeball for the Drunk and Washed-Up”. Read more

Bench Life Fantasy Drafts: Gametime Snacks

This could very-well be one of the slowest times on the sports calendar. All is quiet in the NHL and NFL offseasons. Despite a lot of big pieces already moved the NBA is in full rumour-mode which may not see Kyrie or Carmelo moved until closer to training camps. The MLB is too early to get excited about the playoff races, but late enough that some teams are getting some separation.

So in order for us to churn out some blog content, we thought we’d go to the “fantasy draft” well and have each of us draft the best snack spread possible for watching “the big game” from the comfort of your living room couch.

Just a quick rundown on the rules. Each team has 6 picks to select a team consisting of: 1 hot food, 1 beer brand, 1 pop brand, 1 candy, 1 chip, and 1 flex spot. We’d go in a snake draft order based on how many goals each of us has in our recreational ball hockey league: 1. Cameron with 4 goals, 2. Brendan with 2 goals, 3. Thomas with 1 goal. (In my defense I’ve assisted on a couple of each of their goals because I’m a team guy first and a glory hound second.)

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Bench Talk 7/15/2017

“It’s like the bottom of the ninth and I’m never gonna win. This life hasn’t turned out, quite the way I want it to be.” — Chad Kroeger

Losing can be tough. Losing while riding the pine is downright insufferable. Reach into the styrofoam cooler, crack a cold one and let’s talk some sports.

After a 2 week hiatus we’re back! Read more

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