Bench Life Sports

Lately I’ve been slacking on the blog game, so why not fire up my sports blog the day that all sports are cancelled?

While I may be completely healthy, I am coming out ahead of this and putting myself into a state of quarantine. Control the message before the message controls you. Haters might point out the fact that this is business as usual for me seeing as I’m between jobs. My true fans will see this announcement as great foresight from a real analyst who sees which way the wind is blowing. I haven’t gone to the gym for months, not because I’m lazy, but because I knew there’d eventually be a good reason to stay away. Some say that my avoidance of the stock market to this point has been shrewd, while others may retort that you have to have money to invest money. I’ll let you be the judge.

This whole Covid19 got all too real last night. Sure the story of the NBA shutting down was crazy, but the news of Tom Hanks testing positive shocking to say the least.

Celebrities aren’t supposed to catch these types of illnesses. A quick google search tells me that when swine flu hit in ’09 that the most famous people inflicted were Ron Weasley and Marilyn Manson.

But this is TOM HANKS. The best of the best. Forest Gump, Woody the Cowboy, Captain Phillips, 1/2 of one of the most dynamic rom com duos of the 90’s. A true A-Lister. Everyone on Twitter is comparing his quarantine in Australia to his role in the movie Castaway, but I’m not sure that is an apt comparison. In Castaway, Chuck (Tom Hanks), was left for dead. I think this is more of an Apollo 13 situation. Let’s just get our boy home safe and healthy.

 

Now what makes these last 24 hours so surreal is the absolute halt that has been put on professional sport. Starting with the NBA and Utah Jazz center, Rudy “The Stifle Tower” Gobert, we have since seen the NHL and MLB all on temporary hiatus. The March Madness tournament was straight up cancelled. Essentially, one of my favourite sports months of the calendar has been completely wiped out.

It’s a tough time to be a Sport Management graduate looking for work. It’s an even tougher time to be a fantasy hockey commissioner trying to keep a brave face and lead in the midst of 2020 TWaind’s League Cup Finals.

 

So what will I do to pass the time during my self-imposed quarantine? Maybe get back to reading that book I started last May. Hopefully the XFL is still running. Perhaps I’ll catch up on some movie watching and not watch The Office from start to finish again for the 20th time. I’m also itching to get back into the stock market. “Buy low, sell high” as Forbes magazine has told me.

Maybe I’ll start a Twitch channel. Oh you don’t have NBA basketball? How about watching me cook some vlogger on 2K or get my ass handed to me on Fortnite. I could start livestreaming my own sporting events to give people something to tune into; men’s league basketball? corn hole? a spirited game of marbles? drunkenly making food after the bar? There’s rumblings that the ill-fated “Bench Life Pod” may be making a comeback of sorts. Me and my production team will be in the laboratory trying to capture the sports viewing market in these dark times.

Regardless March 2020 will be a big month for self-reflection for me so I’ll be back on the blog grind to give the people something to click while lounging on the couch “working from home.”

Fortunately as a young, healthy (but out of shape) person, the repercussions and reality of this whole virus is less serious for me than others. All joking aside, the biggest fears are spreading the virus to those who aren’t healthy or strong enough to fight it. The fact is, to get through this and move on with our lives, in these next couple of weeks everyone needs to buckle down, up your hygiene, take all of the necessary precautions and don’t be stupid. As Chet Hanks eloquently put it in the clip above, “Stay safe out there. Much love.”